


Trying

by deadestbreadest



Series: Tim's Toxin Time [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily (DCU), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Tim Drake Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:09:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22390804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadestbreadest/pseuds/deadestbreadest
Summary: In the aftermath of Tim's Fear Toxin gassing, Bruce realizes just how far they've consistently let Tim fall by the wayside."There has been one time," Bruce finally spoke, not looking up at Dick, "Just the once. In the solitude of my own thoughts after I finally adopted him. After I held him as he cried for his dead father. Just one time where I've allowed myself to selfishly... so selfishly wish that Jack and Janet Drake had died when he was young so he could have been mine... ours... that much sooner."Bruce looked back at Dick, "I love all you kids, you know? I never was very good at telling any of you how I feel. I'm working on it."
Relationships: Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Series: Tim's Toxin Time [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1611646
Comments: 6
Kudos: 295





	Trying

**Author's Note:**

> This account is literally just my goblin account. I don't check it ... ever usually or... at all?? I created it solely to upload one story last year. Everything I've posted from here thus far (this included) has been written, formatted, and edited on my phone's memos app while at work. 
> 
> I dont promise good stories or consistent uploads or consistent fandoms or even any future uploads.  
> I am goblin and therefore not beholden to human rules.
> 
> But I appreciated all the crazy love for my Tim Angst fic and this flew outta my brain as a follow-up in between baking batches of bread this morning bc I couldn't stop thinking about the comments asking for a second part so here's some more.  
> Enjoy!

Bruce looked down at Tim, sleeping on the medical cot in the cave now. He looked a little bruised up, but mostly tired. The bags under his eyes were a deep purple. They had given him the most recent antidote they had for Scarecrow's Fear Toxin. Tim had passed out from exhaustion in the Batmobile on the way to the cave. He wasn't sure what he was going to say when he woke up, but he knew he needed to be here and talk with him when he finally did.

Dick appeared in the doorway, freshly showered and in his sweats. He looked guiltily at Tim.

"I feel we've all done wrong by him," he started.  
"Not just you. I didn't fully realize until too late how much wrong I did to him while you were missing. And it was a lot. I still need to apologize for it. I don't know what all he went through in his search for you. He never told us. I doubt it was good. When he came back to Gotham I realized that I should've handled it better. He was so different. So distant. I was too wrapped up in my own grief and responsibilities-"  
"Dick-"  
"But that's on me and him. This," Dick gestured broadly at Tim, "is bigger than that, B. He kept going, high on fear gas like it was nothing. Like it was his every day. You heard some of the things Crane was saying and I know you wonder the same things. He didn't have a... good family life growing up. He's thought of himself as a tool for probably his entire life. And it breaks my heart to even look at him right now."

Dick's eyes were glassy with unshed tears as he and Bruce stayed there, just looking at Tim in the dim cave light.

"There has been one time," Bruce finally spoke, not looking up at Dick, "Just the once. In the solitude of my own thoughts after I finally adopted him. After I held him as he cried for his dead father. Just one time where I've allowed myself to selfishly... so selfishly wish that Jack and Janet Drake had died when he was young so he could have been mine... ours... that much sooner."  
Bruce looked back at Dick, "I love all you kids, you know? I never was very good at telling any of you how I feel. I'm working on it."  
"I know."  
"Go upstairs and get some rest."  
Dick left Bruce to his thoughts as he sat beside Tim, preparing for him to wake up.

\--

When Tim finally woke up a few hours later, Bruce was right there with some water and a little bit of food, courtesy of Alfred, for him to eat.

Now was as good a time as any he supposed.

"I've never been fair to you, Tim." Bruce waited for Tim to look at him, soft confusion showing behind his eyes as he set his spoon down.  
"I rely on you and tend to forget about you and your needs. Not because I don't care, but because I forget that even though you are so strong and so independent you still need to know explicitly just how much we love you for you.

"And sometimes I forget that I'm allowed to love you." Bruce continued, "Because you didn't come to me as mine like your brothers or Cass did. I had to stop myself for years from loving you too much and I failed at that every time. I loved you so much, even then. It surprised me. But you weren't mine for so long... even though you kind of already were. I pushed you away and for that I will never be sorry enough.

"That small child, so bright and so ... so full of light. You, who knew us before we knew you and chased us across rooftops without us knowing. You, who yelled at Dick to come back, and took on the responsibility of Robin because you saw that somebody needed to. You, who fixed me and this family when we were at our darkest. You, who believed in Jason when he came back before anyone else did. You who drinks too much coffee and works too hard and takes beautiful photographs. I've seen your Instagram and it is lovely, Tim. You, who are loved.

"I wish you would come live at the manor again. I wish you would undo the emancipation you felt you had to do when I was missing, because I miss you. In my head I still have to correct myself from seeing you as the young boy I met you as, but I want to be here for you and protect you even if it's felt like I haven't been until now.

"You're my son and I've always been in awe of you and been so proud of you and all the decisions you've made for yourself. I love you."

Tim was shaking, not looking at Bruce's face as tears silently dripped from him.  
"Please look at me and tell me you understand how much I love you?"  
And then suddenly his lap was filled with bony teenager, slamming into him full force in a wet, sloppy hug. Bruce hugged back, just holding him, running a hand absently through his hair until his tears stopped. Eventually a small "I love you too, B." came out. Bruce held his son tighter. His heart soared.

"Now, you don't have to decide now, but I'd like for you to consider talking to somebody." Bruce started softly.  
"I suggest Dinah. Most of the league uses her. I even have Cass, Damian and I working with her. Dick talks with her on his own, too, I believe.

"She has suggested before that our family could also use group sessions and maybe that could be something to try out with everyone eventually."  
"I dont think Jay would go for that, B." Tim sniffled out, with half a laugh into his neck.  
"You leave Jason to me. Besides, if earlier was any indication, he won't be hard to convince. He loves you too. Just worry about you, okay? I can take the rest."  
"Okay."


End file.
